Money money money… the blood of our society that decides if you’re alive or dead, successful or not, supposedly happy or not. It makes our relation with money pretty difficult!
I could go on and on with what money is used for, and how often it’s pretty stupid, but that’s not the point of this post.
I want to talk about something I’m realizing more and more…
Our relation with money seems to be binary.
What do I mean by that? To put it in very simple words : the more we have the more we want.
But the opposite is true too : the less we have the less we want. I’m pretty sure you don’t agree with that one…
Let me get back to that point later on, and I’m pretty sure you’ll get my point. But first, the most common relation with money : I want more!
How many of your friends earn good salaries but always say they would (only!) need a little bit more?
And when they have that “little bit more”, they need a little bit more on top of the previous little bit more.
That’s how society is currently implemented : there is always something more expensive to desire. And most people will never reach the type of earnings that allow to buy virtually anything. So sad… isn’t it?
First side of binary : we always need more.
It’s like there is some underground forces (or not-so-underground ads?) that push us towards never settling with what we earn.
And that is a pretty toxic relation with money, not in itself, but in what most people will do for that.
As long as you’re consciously wanting more, with enough perspective to understand the consequences, well, that’s ok. You won’t suffer from it.
It’s a question of being accountable: if you’re ok with the implications that “wanting more money” imposes on your life (and on the life of others), then it’s a green light.
But if you’re just blindly push towards working more and more, crushing people on the way, or simply forgetting to live your life. Then the light must turn red!
And I don’t think our relation with money can be reasonable
It’s hard to deny that money has a very special place in today’s society. But shouldn’t money only be a means to well-thought-out ends?
When you start questioning it, or more precisely, all of its consequences on your own life, your family life and others people lives, it’s hard to stop the process.
It is a centerpiece in today’s society, and our relation with money drives a lot of our behaviors. That’s sad. Why?
Because I believe that what drives us, on a day-to-day basis, should come from within. And money is external: it’s not an inner piece of ourselves.
As soon as you turn inside, money becomes just another way to reach some places you want to reach. And your relation with money becomes less toxic.
You understand that money is not the center of the world. And it is not what will make you happy or not, successful or not, alive or not.
Money is just another tool that you could use to build your chosen reality. And you can do that with consciousness.
Money always has consequences.
Neither good not bad: just consequences. Open your eyes and choose to look at these consequences in your current reality. Are you ok with them?
There are many types of consequences.
First the ones on your own life: how many hours do you work? Do you like your job? How does it impact your health? Are you able to take time to regularly sit down with yourself for instance? Etc.
Then the ones on your family : are you present enough to enjoy life with your wife and your kids? Do you have the mind space to share deeply with them? Are you the better version of yourself with them?
Finally what are the consequences of your relation with money on others people: how do you treat other people? How does your job use other people? What about the environment, our shared living space?
The answers are all yours. And there’s no good or bad ones.
To me, the only important point is to be sincere with ourselves when answering these questions, so that we can be as conscious as possible of the reality of our choices.
And I believe we must remember that it’s very easy to always find « good » reasons! So we should try hard to be the most sincere that we can, which is hard.
To be accountable we must want to open our eyes to see what we don’t want to see. That’s the key.
If you do that and your replies lead you to still wanting more money, that’s great! Work as hard as you want, make as much money as you want: You chose consciously.
If on the opposite, you realize some things are more important than money, then act accordingly. How much will you settle for?
The other side of binary : we may want less and less.
That’s where I say that our relation with money is binary. If we choose to look without filter within ourselves, the choice is clear.
Either we want more and we will always want more. Or we want less and we will always want less. But can we live with no money?
We certainly can. Some do. But “do we want it?” is another question. For sure, not me (at least for now ^^).
What I suggest is that you can live off of very little compared to what you think you can. Of course it’s a minimalistic point of view, and it’s a choice, nothing more.
But following that principle, you can get to (pretty much) “shelter & food” once you’ve deleted the not-so-necessary things of your life.
What about pleasure then?
I do think that pleasure is coming from within, not from external things (again!). Of course some experiences (expensive or not) will bring you pleasure!
But are these experiences so necessary to your life that you’re ready to accept the upstream and downstream consequences of what you need to do to earn that money?
To me, that’s the only relevant question. Once you get your true answer to that, you can decide what you will do, and what you won’t do.
Of course all of what I just said in this text is just what it is : words. It’s neither true nor wrong. What did you feel while reading them?
What were your thoughts? Focus on you, not on my words. You can fight or let go. What is your relation with money?
I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments!