I know, I know, seeking happiness is a mainstream self-development goal… but I do think it’s a dangerously misleading goal.
Happiness creates sadness. Just like good creates bad.
Sorry, but you should realize that happiness and sadness don’t exist. There are just emotions. Our reactions to them build up the whole stories behind.
Another way to say it is that our mental tricks us. It divides the world in two opposite worlds. And sometimes much more than two!
What if we tried to reunify the world we live in instead?
What happens if we stop seeing the world in black and white, and decide that all colors are the same.
What if we stop seeking happiness and enjoy our emotions – all of our emotions – for what they are?
Yes, I believe there is another way to look at emotions that is freeing. A simple but difficult way… This way may be the true way, who knows?
Not me! But we can choose to look at the mirror and face ourselves without filters. Or at least try our best.
What are emotions for?
Isn’t each emotion just a well intentioned signal that something is happening inside of us?
So when this signal is strong, be it in the happy version or the sad one, let’s just stop. Don’t rush into excitement or sadness.
Prevent yourself from seeking happiness, or fleeing sadness. Prevent yourself from moving any direction. And just listen.
Just stop, listen and breathe.
Listen to what’s inside, let that signal tells you its secret. Each and every time, it will be an opportunity to grow.
Sometimes it’s simpler than others, but your intention should always be the same: growing your knowledge of yourself.
Listen to all your emotions will make you free.
Seeking happiness will make you sad.
You read that well.
Seeking happiness is yet another way to set heavy expectations. And as you likely know, expectations are the sure way to be disappointed…
Tell me, what happens when you’re seeking happiness and encounter anger, anxiety or sadness?
It’s terribly disappointing, even frustrating. And who would you blame for it… except yourself?
With that in mind you can see how seeking happiness will build a tough road, which won’t lead to the happiest version of you.
But yes, of course, I get it!
Seeking happiness is inspiring. Unfortunately, it is very inspiring! And we cannot say the same for sadness… or can we? (What??? Being sad does not excite you?)
I sure love when I’m sad, it reminds me to look at all sides of everything!
But yes, I also agree: however you look at it, dealing with sadness and/or pain is most likely unpleasant.
So how do you deal with sadness or pain? Maybe you don’t.
Tell me, would you ask: how do you deal with being happy? Of course no!
That’s the same for unpleasant moments. You don’t try to deal with them, you embrace them for what they are: Life, with a capital L!
Let me ask you, when was the last time you had this sincere and deep feeling of learning a great lesson or growing your wisdom ?
Did it start from a pleasant or an unpleasant moment ? I bet it was a tough time, it often is. Why ?
Because when we’re going through rough times, there is no “happiness filter”. We’re just face to face with what’s deep inside (usually pretty deep since we’re trying to hide it from ourselves!).
Theses face-to-face internal meetings are a sure way to grow.
Let’s try to stop seeking happiness for a week or two, and instead embrace each and every emotion that’s coming.
Listen to your deep self, the one who lives way beyond your mind. Listen to him, discuss with him, make friends with him.
And let me know if it’s not way better than seeking happiness !
Last words about seeking happiness, or not.
As for many things that bring us down, it’s all about what or who you compare yourself to. What’s the norm to you?
The one that tells you not to be sad, or your own inner norm which accepts you as you truly are ?
If you want to be free, you have to see yourself as a whole, not a bipolar or multifaceted being.
Thanks for reading. I wish you to be very happy by not seeking happiness !